Race Name: Griggey
Team: Track
Race Age: 21
5'10 145lbs
Favorite Cliff Bar: Peanut butter
Favorite Training Song: Crystal Castles - "Alice Practice"
Favorite Road Race: FM24
Favorite post-ride beverage: Hoegaarden
Favorite cheap beer: PBR
Favorite not-so-cheap beer: Three Philosophers or Duvel
Road Bike: 2008 Fuji Team RC
City Bike: Black Steel Soma
Track Bike: Black Steel Soma (with speedbooster)
My Life Story (according to deadcowboymike):
Many men have long pondered the mysteries of the elusive Griggey Rothmcier, a man who is so cloaked in mystery, that no records exist of his life. Who could he be, what possesses a man to be so dedicated to the speed on a track bicycle? What drives his insatiable desires to find approval in the crowds of a long oval, to spin his legs so fast his heart threatens to burst from his chest? What could convince a man to forsake safety, family, and love for the cold solitude of the road so early in the morn?
We may never know.
What we have managed to piece together of Griggey Rothmcier's life is that he was born on April 19th 1987, to a loving family. An only child, he spent his days in idle repose in front of the television, consuming his mother's delicious pastry treats and growing large in response. At the young age of five, he was already so overweight he had to be pushed around from room to room in a wheelbarrow, a task that his strapping father was more than up for.
It was not until the age of seven that this peaceful lifestyle was brought to an end by a terrible tragedy. With his devout love of Christian fruit, Griggey begged his parents to wheel his barrow out to the local theatre, one Sunday morn, where Veggie-Tales (TM) were playing. As Griggey danced about in his wheelbarrow (more squirming and flailing) after emerging from the theatre, love of Jesuit parables deep in his heart, and perhaps ironically, a smearing of chocolate 'round his lips from where he grew so entranced in watching healthy vegetables prance about, he missed his mouth, he so entranced his loving family that they all failed to notice the homeless and desperate (and perhaps more importantly - armed!) man who came out to accost them.
"Your money or your life!" demanded the robber.
Which, to Griggey's everlasting dismay and in a gesture that would remain forever etched in his memory, the robber waited naught for a response, but opted to rob the loving family of both patriarch and matriarch. The bang from the gun would echo in Griggey's wheelbarrow, jarring him from his sugar-induced euphoria, and echo forever in his heart, as the only family he had ever known would be robbed from him forever.
Here, we lose track of the young man that Griggey Rothmcier would turn into - history remains foggy and unclear. Perhaps, burdened by this horrible ordeal, he would turn to a life of crime, wreaking the same havoc that was wraught upon him, the same terror that turned him to a lifestyle of wanton cruelty and maliciousness. Or perhaps Griggey, in the only way that a child can truly, turned towards God, trusting in His everloving nurturing embrace to guide him through the darkness that haunted his soul. Either way, we know naught of what became him - did he attend a public school? Was he fostered out or did he stay with relatives? Did he play the Super Nintendo or the Sega Genesis? So many mysteries, and so little truth.
We return to Griggey when he re-emerged into the local track scene, no longer a lard-encumbered child of the barrows, but now a lean racing machine, riding astride a bicycle that would forever mark the streets as the new urban horse, and Griggey's deft handling marking him a skilled urban cowboy. He would compete in various underground races, rising to the top, and untouchable (except for the scar above his upper lip incurred during the RACE OF A THOUSAND NIGHTS in the year of 2002, which he has ever since tried to disguise beneath his shady looking mustache).
But it was not until he turned his attention to the oval vessel of speed that Griggey truly turned into his own. Here, we truly reunite with the lord of speed, the master of velocity, the accelerating horizitudinal horizons. Here, we, his eager acolytes of the true gospel of the speed force, gather together to watch him lull his unsuspecting foes into complacency with a mediocre to middling start, only to turn on the juice and race his way into victory - and into our hearts.
Let us watch then, the embarking saga of one Griggey Rothmcier.
